She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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