It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
