My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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