sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no. you can't hotbox the world.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
