that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
