my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
