You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
