just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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