is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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