Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
