he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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