Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
