Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
