It's Friday. Sex?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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