He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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