I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
