Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
