So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
