i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
