hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
