No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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