Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and i looked up. we had an audience...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
