I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
