You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
