So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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