I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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