The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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