I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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