i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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