And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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