The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
