please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
