so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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