when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
