More tranny stories later!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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