I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm bleeding and have questions
that is very illegal...i love you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
