Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pants are for mortals
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
