She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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