wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
