I need to stop coming to work sober
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
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