I heard we made out
We're facebook friends in real life
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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