I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
