im drinking this country out of the recession.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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