I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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