I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
