I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
