the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
