Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
