hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
