Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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